Sunday, January 25, 2009

WA-4 2nd draft

Dear President-Elect Obama,

Congratulations on holding the title of the first African American president in the United States. Our country is on downward slide and I don’t want to leave the next generation of citizens with the job of correcting our mistakes. The tasks that lay before you in redirecting our economy will be challenging. Before concentrating on foreign policies and the war against terror, I would like our country to first focus its efforts at home with fixing our economy and before focusing our efforts overseas.
As the cost of items rise, the income of small business employees remained the same. The necessities that we need are becoming farther and farther out of reach. The households that are living off a 1-income salary are feeling the blunt of the force due to paying government taxes. Your plan is to provide 150 million workers the tax relief they need. I think there are more than 150 million workers that are in need for tax relief. If you are going to stay with your plan and only provide 150 million workers with the tax relief you need some sort of evaluation to determine which workers will receive the tax relief. As a result those that are in need the most will receive the tax relief. And hopes of a better future start now within our youth and if families are having trouble paying their taxes, hopes of college are miles down the road. And early education and childhood development is the key to a promising future in our youth’s education. Your plan is for the money to go towards higher-quality teachers and early education. But many wealthy Americans still want the tax cut initiated by George Bush. The main goal of your funding should be towards ensuring higher level teachers and early education. To gain the support needed from the Republicans you should give them a lesser tax cut. By doing so you will ensure happiness by both parties as well as sticking to you main plan of action as president.
We have been fighting the War on Terrorism for more than 6 years and we still haven’t reached our goal. I think we need to withdraw from Iraq and the Middle East as a whole. Too many soldiers are leaving their families and friends behind and not returning. George Bush didn’t know when to stop, but from my point of view the time is now to withdraw. We are not only killing our soldiers but we are also harming innocent civilians. Our main goal for entering the Middle East was to locate and kill Osama Bin Laden and the terrorist groups. We have not located Osama Bin Laden and haven’t completely ended all terrorist groups within 6 years of being based in the Middle East. We have lost men and women in our armed forces. We need to retreat from the Middle East.
Our country is in a hole at the moment that we are slowly gaining strength and hopefully we can pull ourselves back out. In your term for president, I want every kid to see college as an option and families not being engulfed with federal taxes when they are living off of 1 income. I want family and friends to be reunited with loved ones and return home from the Middle East. Our country is in need of a change.
Yours Truly,
Reuben Chapman

1 comment:

Ms. Wiesner said...

He's not the President Elect anymore, he's the President.

The mistakes are actually the fault of the generation before you and I'd be hoping that your generation isn't left to clean up the mess.

This sentence is all over the place: "Before concentrating on foreign policies and the war against terror, I would like our country to first focus its efforts at home with fixing our economy and before focusing our efforts overseas."

You have two different verb tenses in this sentence, "As the cost of items rise, the income of small business employees remained the same"

You repeat the words "tax relief" too many times in that paragraph.

Break this into more paragraphs.

What do you mean "higher level teachers"

Spell out six

Read each sentence out loud and make sure it flows well.